I Sold My Penis to Your Grandma, and She Liked it!

I've got myself a genuine hoarding problem. Now, initially this might not seem related to either the grandma or the penis mentioned in the headline. Nor, for that matter, does it appear to address the more intriguing issue that Nana enjoys herself some schlong. Hang with me (and a little to the left), y'all, and in a wee bit of time, you'll be like, "Huh. Bekah * did * sell a dick to an old lady." For the time being, though, let's focus on my adulterous GramGram, because she's crass and mean and crazy as a raccoon tap-dancing in a rain storm.

There Is A Picture In Here Of A Cowboy With A Cactus As His Cockledoodledoo...

Have y'all heard of Instagram? Apparently, it's this app for your phone where you can post your pictures online using these cool things called "filters" that make your images look super snazzy and professional. Then, complete strangers validate your photo street cred by "liking" your photographs. If this can happen, then anything can! Maybe I'll get my Hogwarts letter! Maybe One Direction will become whole again! Ooooo! Maybe Bernie Sanders will let me lick his face! #FeeltheBern!! Anywhoo... I found this Instagram sorcery, and I completely forgot to write a blog post, because OMG! FANCY PICTURES! And then I started