My dad disappeared when I was 10. Ok, so, he didn't vanish forever. That'd be a bummer. But it would explain my prodigious therapy bill. Instead, my Pappy just dropped off the grid for a couple of hours so he could secure a compound. This is the point in the post where I issue one of those "trigger warnings." If you're not down with accidental animal sacrifices or other forms of religious skullduggery, now's the time to bail. Because I'm about to reveal that I once unwittingly served as an adolescent acolyte of one of the Midwest's most prominent Evangelical
A recovering journalist who recently moved to the deep-fried South and is reveling in the freedom to have opinions and say "fuck." Oh, and cats. Because, duh.
Please don't abandon me yet. I've written other stuff, and I'll give you a cookie if you read these:
- My Vagina Is On a Diet, And It Would Appreciate It If You Stopped Offering It Cake
- We're Going to Name Our Kid "Bookshelf"
- My Mom Offered to Send Me to Fat Camp.... On My 30th Birthday
- That One Time We Considered Stuffing Our Dead Cat Into a Teddy Bear...
- I Think My Ex Just Threatened to Eat My Cats...
- The Best Cults Are Polygamous and Have Animal Sacrifices (But That's Just My Personal Experience)
- 6 Ways Doctors (And Maybe Kim Kardashian) Can Improve Your Colonoscopy Experience
- I'm *Fairly* Sure My Husband Isn't a Pedophile, And Other Halloween Thoughts...
Where I Go When I'm On The Internet:
- Modest Mess: This blonde Viking beauty works as a longshoreman and uses such colorful prose as “farty ball-sack.”
- Oh Joy Sex Toy: I know you were disappointed that I'm not a sex blog, so here's a good one. In cartoon form!!
- Feminist Lisa Frank: Disassembling the patriarchy one rainbow kitten at a time. I'm super pissed I didn't think of this first.
- One Salty Blonde: This sassy Canadian once sent me a picture of her unused vibrator. Kindred Spirit Achievement: Unlocked.
- The Bloggess: Because if creative taxidermy doesn't do it for you, you shouldn't be here.
- The Reluctant Cat Owner’s Journal: An openly handsome gay dude blogs about his special needs cats. ‘Nuff said.
- Hacker. Ninja. Hooker. Spy.: I came for the post, “I Don’t Think This Belongs in my Vagina,” and stayed for her plans to use a possible tumor to acquire a sympathy kitten. #SoulMate
- Zen Habits: Because sometimes you need to clear your mind of the chaos and clutter.