I Sold My Penis to Your Grandma, and She Liked it!

I've got myself a genuine hoarding problem. Now, initially this might not seem related to either the grandma or the penis mentioned in the headline. Nor, for that matter, does it appear to address the more intriguing issue that Nana enjoys herself some schlong. Hang with me (and a little to the left), y'all, and in a wee bit of time, you'll be like, "Huh. Bekah * did * sell a dick to an old lady." For the time being, though, let's focus on my adulterous GramGram, because she's crass and mean and crazy as a raccoon tap-dancing in a rain storm.

GramGram's Got a Cooter...

I desperately wish my headline had misplaced an "S" and that my grandmother had discovered a scooter rather than a working vagina. But I'm not that lucky. And neither, apparently, are a few men that I don't even want to pretend exist. The moral (or lack thereof) of this post is that Nana's naughty. It's a truth I don't want to acknowledge. Ever. At all. In any measure or degree. But I promised y'all the unadulterated truth (a pun you'll appreciate by this post's end), and I'm going to give it to you (which is ostensibly a phrase with which