I'm Not Actually Planning on Murdering My Sister (But the Day's Not Over Yet)

So, I sort of shit in your bed. Metaphorically, of course. I see you're worried, so let me explain using a scene from one of my favorite movies, "Pirate Radio." One of the characters is describing how he was in bed with this girl and he thought she wouldn't notice if he let go a little bit of wind. But it wasn't wind. It was diarrhea. So, there he was, with the girl of his dreams, with poo all over the sheets behind him. Yes, it's a plot point that is both crass and juvenile, but it's a cinematic moment