The Worst News Roundup Ever Written

I don't know why people apologize for taking breaks from blogging. After all, absence only makes the heart grow fonder, and you bitches need to learn to love me. So, following an appropriate period of withholding, I am returning at just the right time, much in the way your genital warts resurface when you've met "the one." For real, though, I know I've been a bit removed lately. I tried to remedy this situation by showering you with kickass guest posts from some super rad peeps. If my blog stats can be trusted, you actually liked those writers better than

20 Delightful Cat-Themed Reasons To Ruin Your Credit

Apparently, I actually am reincarnated. I learned today that the Catholic Church has a patron saint of cats, Saint Gertrude of Nivelles, and I'm pretty sure I'm here. After all, this miraculous cat lady died at the age of 33 (my current age) "because of too much abstinence" (my current medical condition), according to medieval history books. Let me repeat that: The patron saint of cats died in her 30s from a lack of sex. Like, I feel badly for her, but how hilarious is that? Anyway, I think all of we cat ladies should unite in honor of this

There Is A Picture In Here Of A Cowboy With A Cactus As His Cockledoodledoo...

Have y'all heard of Instagram? Apparently, it's this app for your phone where you can post your pictures online using these cool things called "filters" that make your images look super snazzy and professional. Then, complete strangers validate your photo street cred by "liking" your photographs. If this can happen, then anything can! Maybe I'll get my Hogwarts letter! Maybe One Direction will become whole again! Ooooo! Maybe Bernie Sanders will let me lick his face! #FeeltheBern!! Anywhoo... I found this Instagram sorcery, and I completely forgot to write a blog post, because OMG! FANCY PICTURES! And then I started